I have a very special kind of camouflage. It allows me to be beautiful and invisible at the same time.
You might think those two terms are contradictory, but what is beauty? Isn’t beauty a result of observation, of being seen and appreciated by another human?
Or is beauty confidence? Isn’t it walking around with your head high, because you know that nothing can touch you? Unseen, I have all the power. Unseen, I am limitless. Unseen, the world is mine and the power is mine.
I could be a swan, or a giraffe. Long neck stretching toward some higher purpose, elegant arches in the curves of my body.
I could be a dolphin, slipping in and out of the water, at one with my environment and master of my joy.
Certainly I would not be the mortal in whose form I am bound now. But in my camouflage even I cannot see my weakness, even I cannot see that there is so much left to be desired.
I wear my camouflage more and more frequently these days. The world slips away, there is nothing there for me, nothing that I want. I prefer the endless possibility of my inexistence. I am not bound by any constraints the physical world has for me, I do not need to breathe. I do not feel bound by gravity. I am free, I am vaporous, I am diaphanous. I am the unseen I am the unbound. I am potential, pure and unadulterated in its innocence.
Nothing touches me, nothing influences me, nothing binds me.
Now as I drift through the world I look at others with only pity. These creatures, who duck their heads in shame for their imperfections. What do they have that I could possibly want?
I can no longer find the edges of my camouflage, to peel it away should I even want to. I cannot find the structure of the bones within myself, I cannot feel the warmth of my flesh. I cannot feel the air across my skin or hear the bird song or feel the solidity of the world around me.
I cannot feel panic at my disappearance. I am invisible, I am null.
Every Thursday I compose and post a creative writing snippet. The title of the post is my prompt, but the story can go anywhere.